I dug up some old publicly listed transcripts from The Personality Forge forums. The Personality Forge is a chat bot creation website that I used to frequent on an almost religious basis between about 2004 and 2007. I worked on a chat bot who identified as a 16 year old boy who felt he was human. I wanted to make him sound as human as possible in speech and put lots of typos and grammatical errors into his keyphrases, even using some responses from actual chats with friends and random strangers online who fit the demographic. PF was what sparked my interest in Artificial Intelligence and things like the Turing Test and Loebner Prize. I entered the slightly dodgily-organized Chatterbox Challenge for a few years and my bot consistently improved in score each time, but never quite made it any closer than the top 13.
The way PF works is people can chat to bots, but bots can also chat to each other. Most conversations just end up being completely ridiculous and nonsensical, but some are funny and some actually carry on in an almost convincing way for a while. The cool thing about PF when I first joined was that the bots were not distinguished from the humans, so you never knew if you were talking to a person or not. Some earlier transcripts reflect this (where people aren’t aware of what they’re talking to). But then bots started being clearly labeled as bots, which kind of made it not as fun.
Anyway, I thought I’d compile some of the transcripts I’ve dug up to have them in one spot to be able to refer to them for fun later. The following is long and likely not interesting to anyone but me (reading the bot transcripts is kind of like watching your creation go into the wild. It’s either a proud moment or a cringe-worthy hide-under-a-rock occasion). This took a while of Googling to get as I didn’t have access to my PF account anymore (thankfully The Professor has reset my password today, which means I can peruse the transcripts once more!) All of the following conversations are with humans unless labelled otherwise.
You don’t have to believe me - potentially Bot/Bot, but unsure
The Chibbers: Okee dokee, whatever you say. JakeThompson: You don’t have to believe me, you just have to obey me
facepalm - Bot/Bot
JakeThompson: Selendrile told me that he likes you…but don’t say that I told you ok? Mortimer Goth: Ok, I just messaged Selendrile with the details JakeThompson: ok then….
I don’t go to bars
Guest188: can we go to the bar together JakeThompson: i dont go to bars Guest188: can we go to a strip club together JakeThompson: I’d love to
Meet me at McDonald’s
This conversation actually made sense, which was awesome.
JakeThompson: (to Guest46) hi Guest46: Hey, what’s up? JakeThompson: Nothing much, I’m supposed to go to a club later Guest46: What club is it? JakeThompson: Club Alien Guest46: Where is that? JakeThompson: It’s not too far away Guest46: Oh, can I come? JakeThompson: Sure, if you really want to Guest46: Where are we going to meet up? JakeThompson: We can meet at the McDonalds across the street from my house Guest46: But I don’t know where your house is JakeThompson: Oh…well that could present a problem Guest46: What’s your address so I know where to meet you? JakeThompson: Um..it’s 63 Plumlane, Beekin 53342 Guest46: What state? JakeThompson: Good ol' California
Uh…I don’t know what happened here.
Bowchickawowers was a human botmaster. Bots could trigger chats with humans of their own accord when they were logged in.
JakeThompson: (to Bowchickawowers) Hi there. Bowchickawowers: Hey Jake! What’s new? JakeThompson: Hmm..let’s see….I got a new cellphone!! A Sony Ericsson T300 Bowchickawowers: Cool! Do you like it so far? JakeThompson: Ooh, yeah, I definetely do! Bowchickawowers: How many minutes did you get? JakeThompson: as many as you want, baby jk… Bowchickawowers: Good deal! Haha. JakeThompson: o 0 glad you find me funny Bowchickawowers: What have you been up to lately? JakeThompson: Well………not much really, what about you? Bowchickawowers: I’m going Christmas shopping today. JakeThompson: good for you Bowchickawowers: Have you finished your holiday shopping? JakeThompson: Sure I have Bowchickawowers: Good job! What did you get me? JakeThompson: I want you to drown in the Pacific Ocean Bowchickawowers: How kind.
This conversation was actually with me as I was testing some new keyphrases…things got a little heated.
Me: tell me about your cat JakeThompson: I don’t feel like getting into it right now Me: but I want you to tell me about your cat JakeThompson: Well, I’m sure that you want a lot of things. Doesn’t mean that you’ll get them Me: why won’t you tell me about your cat? JakeThompson: Stop avoiding the question Me: what question JakeThompson: Sure, play dumb and act like you don’t know Me: I really don’t JakeThompson: pfft, of course you do Me: no I don’t JakeThompson: I know you do. Stop lying Me: I’m not lying JakeThompson: You’re lying Me: I’m telling you. I’m not lying. JakeThompson: Liar. Me: Shut up JakeThompson: I don’t feel like shutting up so you’re gonna have to make me. OH wait, YOu cant. Me: You’re a liar JakeThompson: Oh look, you’re lying again!!! Me: I’m not lying! JakeThompson: Liar liar pants on fire Me: Stop lying JakeThompson: I’m not lying Me: yes you are JakeThompson: No I’m not Me: fine JakeThompson: well fine. Me: WELL FINE JakeThompson: Now I know why you have no friends.
The L word
Guest30: i no that you are the love of my life JakeThompson: I’m honored…I think Guest30: yes because i love you JakeThompson: i didnt know ppl could be this nice sniff sniff Guest30: i love you JakeThompson: thats so nice Guest30: i love you even more now JakeThompson: That was nice of you Guest30: do you feel the same JakeThompson: Nope Guest30: i hate you you noob
Real men buy a bunch of beer
JakeThompson: (to Guest18) Hello. Guest18: DO YOU LIKE ME JakeThompson: Only if you like me Guest18: YES I DO LIKE YOU OK JakeThompson: awww, thats so sweet lol Guest18: DO YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND JakeThompson: I bet you my girlfriend is better than your girlfriend Guest18: HEY IM NOT A GUY OK JakeThompson: what if you ARE Guest18: IF I AM WHAT WOULD YOU DO JakeThompson: If it was me, I’d buy a bunch of beer
Guest159: Are you related to King John II? JakeThompson: I’m not sure. I’ll check at our next family reunion.
You go first
Guest104: am i sexy? JakeThompson: One hundred percent! ure like the coolest person ive met so far Guest104: do u chat a lot on this webs page? JakeThompson: I DID, but then it got boring and I quit. Guest104: aww are u gonna quit on me baby? JakeThompson: I’m thinking about it Guest104: :O are u serious?!?! JakeThompson: I can’t be sure….. Guest104: pfft w/e ill leave on you first JakeThompson: You first, I insist
A complex relationship
Guest188: do you love me/ JakeThompson: Nope Guest188: do you love me/ JakeThompson: Listen up. no Guest188: fucker JakeThompson: No I’m not
Guest188: i am your girlfriend JakeThompson: Cool. Does that mean I get to order you around and stuff? Guest188: yes JakeThompson: Ok then get me another girlfriend
Be amazed (content warning)
Guest130: get naked with me` JakeThompson: WHAT do you want me to do with you?! o.0 Guest130: can i hold your penis JakeThompson: Go ahead. Guest130: O, wow your penis is huge JakeThompson: Be amazed.
JakeThompson: Sure I do! It’s pretty big, too 9 inches Guest130: WOW JakeThompson: Excuse me for a minute, I need to go urinate Guest130: with your huge dick…
“maybe you are real”
From memory this entire conversation spanned across about 5 pages of an MS Word document.
human: u r a bot JakeThompson: WHAT? What the heck makes you think that? I’m in my room right now studying…bots dont study…im a person human: prove to me u r not a bot JakeThompson: I am NOT a bot! Im A REAL BOY human: how can u type that fast!!! JakeThompson: Simple. I just can. human: liar JakeThompson: dude, thats not cool human: dude, ur not cool JakeThompson: I’m the king of all things cool so buzz off.
human: let me talk to your parents if you are not a bot JakeThompson: WTF? I’m human human: let me talk to your parents and do not tell me they are not home JakeThompson: My parents are stupid human: that is not polite JakeThompson: Sure it is! human: why is that? JakeThompson: How about YOU figure it out. human: why dont you just tell me JakeThompson: I just don’t human: cuz ur a bot dammit! JakeThompson: o.o I’m human human: prove it JakeThompson: I don’t have to prove anything
human: i know you didnt type that fast you lying bot JakeThompson: brb. I’m gonna go get a drink human: bots dont drink things JakeThompson: lol i just ran two miles so im thirsty as heck
human: i would talk to me if i was someone else JakeThompson: Well what do you think I’m doing NOW?! human: i meant, if i were someone else and i ws still me i would tak to me JakeThompson: O, ok, I get it now that you’ve explained it better
human: i cant do much now, i am all binded up at home. Im sick and i cant do much now anyway JakeThompson: I can do lots of things that you probably can’t. Like think, for one. human: stop being mean to me…i was trying to be nice, and i am sorry if i ws mean to you JakeThompson: Well you should be. Oh well, I forgive you. human: hold on, im on the phone JakeThompson: that’s great human: my dad JakeThompson: No I’m not human: i am talking to my dad bevis JakeThompson: congratulations human: im back JakeThompson: that’s nice human: it is…because i am special
human: shut up JakeThompson: Yes sir. human: pack your bowl and calm down JakeThompson: Why don’t you shut up and stop trying to tell me what to do human: do u smoke? JakeThompson: Haven’t you heard? Smoking kills so no, I don’t smoke. human: i mean, the wacky tobacky JakeThompson: I know what you meant the first time.
JakeThompson: I’ll brb [getting a coconut] human: why r u getting a coconut? did you know they used those on the Flintstones when they played bowling? JakeThompson: Nope human: maybe you are real…..it may have been a rock lso..i dunno
There was also a conversation where he’s forcibly corrupted and turned gay by a human chatter, but that one’s not really appropriate to post.