It was a chilly summer evening when Valeros the valiant fighter and Merisiel the super cool rogue walked through the gates of a tiny abandoned farmhouse. They were heroes, you see, and here to rescue the people of the land from a gang of notorious thieving wanderers - the Sczarni - who have been terrorizing Sandpoint under the leadership of a punk named Jubrayl Vhiski.
When the townsfolk put out an ad for two brave heroes to take care of the problem Valeros and Merisiel felt it was unnecessary to mention their lack of experience in adventuring. But now the creepy creaking gate and the menacing-sounding wind was making Merisiel second-guess their decision.
But they pressed on. Merisiel had her dagger and darts at the ready and Valeros had his…some other weapon…also at the ready as they tiptoed down the path to the house. Suddenly, a Mercenary jumped out of the nearby apple tree and kicked Merisiel to the ground! She recovered and threw a dart at his face. It missed, so she threw it away and tried again. Got him! Merisiel kept his eye as a souvenir - and his elite throwing axe. Unfortunately she wasn’t that great with proper weapons, so as she practice-swung the axe around in victory it nicked the side of her thigh. Worth it, though.
Valeros was the image of heroism as he, emboldened by their defeat of the Mercenary, kicked open the door of the farmhouse and strolled inside. That’s when the siren leaped out at his face from the rafters. He slashed it with his short sword, but she swiped one wing into his head and Valeros dropped to the floor, dead.
Merisiel was alone. “I will bring you back, Valeros!” she yelled as the ran away from the farmhouse very quickly. She ran to exhaustion and found herself at a wooden bridge, where a henchman waiting for her! She threw the axe at it, dislocating her shoulder in the process. But it worked. The henchman perished and she secured the entire location. She fought monsters across the land, hoping to stumble into anything that could bring Valeros back to life. She journeyed from the bridge to the waterfront and then to the woods with no luck. Close to death, she managed to barely escape a Giant Gecko when suddenly she realized…He’s not dead! He’s just unconscious!
She ran over to the farmhouse to wake up Valeros, who was very glad to find out that he wasn’t dead after all and just napping for seven hours or so while Merisiel was beating up monsters and henchmen on his behalf with her massive axe. Together they stole a couple of farm horses and rode over to the waterfront, where Jubrayl Vhiski himself was waiting for them! Valeros, well rested from his long nap, took on the gang leader. Unfortunately, he got away. The gang leader, not Valeros. However, at least they got to secure another location.
“We’ve got to split up,” said Merisiel. “We have two locations left - the farmhouse and the woods. If one of us runs into Vhiski again, the other can secure the remaining location.”
It was decided that Merisiel would take the woods (since she’s an elf and all) and Valeros would go back and finish clearing the farmhouse. Vhiski had to be hiding in one of those places.
Except it just so happened that the siren wasn’t done with Valeros. She lunged at him again when he arrived at the house. Only wisdom could defeat her and neither Merisiel nor Valeros had much of that going for them (though let it be known that Merisiel had a little more). Merisiel helped Valeros escape from afar, but the siren herself was not defeated. She was still out there…hiding.
“No way, man.” said Valeros. “I’m not fighting that thing again. She’ll kill me!”
“Fine, let’s trade places.” Merisiel relocated to the farmhouse and Valeros took over the forest. Suddenly, a bandit henchman (or something) leapt out at Merisiel from the tall grass of a pasture. She threw a dagger through his heart and then, as a result, managed to close the location. Yet as she was boarding up the doors and windows of the farmhouse she spotted Vhiski himself hiding in a corner. She decided not to let her presence be known just yet and communicated with Valeros (who was in the woods) via carrier pigeon.
“Enemy spotted. He’s strong. I think I can take him, but you may be better with your superhuman strength.” she wrote.
They did some quick math and confirmed that Valeros, with his mighty strength and stuff, did indeed have a better chance of defeating the villain. Merisiel could provide some healing assistance if required. They formulated their cunning plan. It went like this:
Merisiel and Valeros quietly switched locations again - Merisiel retreating to the woods and Valeros sneaking into the farmhouse. Valeros pounced out at Jubrayl Vhiski, charging at him with all his might. A very fast carrier pigeon sent word to Merisiel that the battle was beginning. She, in the meantime, was trying to figure out how to temporarily close the woods to ensure Jubrayl couldn’t escape there when Valeros defeated them.
“But oh no!” she exclaimed. “It requires wisdom! We are toast. Even if Valeros manages to defeat Jubrayl now, he’ll just escape into the woods and we’ll have to wade through all these hostile creatures. We’ll be dead before we get to him!”
They should probably have taken the time to figure this out before putting their plan in action, but as we’ve stablished - not much wisdom on either end.
Merisiel had one shot at solving a seemingly impossible puzzle. All she could do was guess. Out of six choices, only one was correct. There was zero room for error. Sweating profusely, she guessed…”Six!”
The monsters of the forest cried out in horror and retreated to their dens. The forest closed in on itself. Success!
In the meantime, Valeros was fighting an epic battle with a gang leader who was beating him with a club.
“You can do it, Valeros!”
And he did! With a final good kick to the head, Jubrayl was knocked unconscious (permanently). Valeros looked to the sky at just the right angle for sunlight to shine on his chiseled features.
And so, Sandpoint was freed from the clutches of an evil villain.
“We did it!” Merisiel punched the air victoriously, nearly stabbing Valeros in the face with her dagger. “Let’s do that again!”
They started dividing their loot, preparing for their next (big) adventure.
It was decided that Merisiel should probably hand over the axe to Valeros, who was able to use it without injuring himself. Valeros then passed out, clearly requiring another nap (seriously, he’s snoring right now).